


The Reason Why Logan Can't Eat Spicy Things (Anymore)

by wow_thats_angsty



Series: Sander Sides but it's Slice of Life. [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Background Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Background Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Background Morality | Patton Sanders, Barely noticeable angst, Crack, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Crying Logic | Logan Sanders, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I go a bit in depth into food, Logan has a problem, Logan needs rehab, Logic | Logan Sanders Has Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders Needs a Hug, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Feelings, Logic | Logan Sanders is Bad at Self-Care, Logic | Logan Sanders is a Mess, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Good Friend, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Patton calls everyone pet names, Patton talks a little like a southern mom, Please Kill Me, Seriously wtf Virge, Snap my neck, Spicey, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is all Virgil's fault, Written at three am, You Have Been Warned, no like food spicey, please, the author is projecting, this can be read as romantic or platonic, this doesn't make sense, this is just pure crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27811645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_thats_angsty/pseuds/wow_thats_angsty
Summary: Logan tried spicy food, it didn't end well.Read: This sort of happened to the author. I had a spicy food phase. I still do, it's just toned down a lot.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton/Thomas Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Everyone
Series: Sander Sides but it's Slice of Life. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021257
Comments: 22
Kudos: 67





	The Reason Why Logan Can't Eat Spicy Things (Anymore)

**Author's Note:**

> I go kinda in-depth about descriptions of food. I came up with this when I should've been sleeping. You can read this fic as romantic or platonic, it's up to you.

Virgil deeply regretted the day he introduced Logan to spicy food. He had created a monster that day. Virgil still remembers it like it was yesterday. Because it was. 

\-----

“When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city~” 

Virgil was singing to himself as he was trying to make himself a sandwich. He decided he’d eat his favorite chips with his sandwich. A perfectly normal decision. He put his jalapeno-flavored chips and his sandwich on a plate. He bit into his delectable sandwich as Logan walked into the kitchen. 

“What are those?” Logan asked, pointing at Virgil’s chips. 

“They’re just chips, Logan. Do you want one?” Logan nodded and picked a chip up from off the plate. His eyes lit up as he munched on the chip. He was immediately enamored with the strange taste on his tongue. 

“May I have another?” Logan asked. Virgil sighed and said, “Sure. Whatever.” Virgil said. 

Virgil finished his sandwich while Logan ate the rest of his chips. Virgil was a little miffed but he was too apathetic to care all that much. Logan, however, was a changed metaphysical man. 

\-----

Virgil had left to go sulk in his room once again but Logan had stayed in the kitchen. He’d never thought he’d enjoy spicy food. But made him feel so many emotions. He’d wouldn’t admit it to himself or to the others but, he felt emotions, just not as deep as they did. But when he ate that chip, it was a wave of them crashing into him in the best possible way. 

He went to the pantry in search of more. He found Virgil’s stash of them and pulled out a bag. He tore into them like he would a jar of crofters. But he became greedy, he wanted more. More spice, more of the overwhelming emotions. So he summoned Hot Cheetos. He was going to toture himself with them to get high off the pain. 

Then he summoned an array of peppers, he was going to doom himself to a life of pain at the hands of spice. 

\-----

Patton had walked into the kitchen to make dinner; he was thinking about making spaghetti. “Hey Lo! How are- OH MY GOD!” 

What he saw upon entering the kitchen was Logan tearing through a bag of Hot Cheetos. He was shoveling them into his mouth, a crazed look in his eye. He was muttering words. Something along the lines of “Mmm spicy.” and “It burns so good.” Logan looked like a wreck. His eyes were watering and his nose was runny. He wasn’t wearing his glasses or his tie. He was in his unicorn onesie. When Patton first entered the kitchen, he thought Logan looked like a weird hot chip cryptid. 

“L-Logan, buddy, what  _ happened? _ ” Logan started laughing maniacally. “It burns!” 

Patton stumbled back a little. He didn’t expect Logan to be a masochist but here we are. 

“Logan, do you need help?” Patton said, gently reaching out and putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder. Logan hissed and said, “No, I can quit any time I want.” Patton rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Logan, why are you shoving Cheetos into your mouth like a rat with cheese? I was about to make dinner! I could’ve made you something to eat if you were really that hungry.” Logan snarled, huddling into himself. “No! Only spicy.” He rasped. Patton sighed and got to make some spaghetti. 

“Hon, you’ve got to eat  _ real  _ food.  _ You’re  _ the one always getting on us about nutrients and such.” Patton said, the beef sizzling in the pan. “Spicy is only food now.” Logan said, still high off the pain. Patton looked at him with pity and continued cooking. 

Virgil came down from his room and Roman came from the living room. They both looked at Logan, horrified. They barely recognized him. 

“WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR PRECIOUS NERD, PAT?!” Roman held onto Virgil’s arm.

“I’ve created a monster,” Virgil said, voice full of regret. “I’m… so sorry.” 

Logan wasn’t paying attention. He’d gone to the fridge and pulled out a pepper. 

“LOGAN NO!” Roman screeched. But he was too late. Logan had taken a bite of raw pepper. 

“I-is that a ghost pepper?” Virgil asked. 

Logan nodded. “I’ve ascended, Virgil. I used to think I couldn’t feel but the spicy… the spicy is beautiful. I can feel everything. It’s magical. Now I know what Roman feels like constantly. The swells of emotion. It’s wonderful, almost overwhelming.” Roman shook his head, he looked close to tears. 

“Where’s our emotionally repressed nerd? Where’s our walking library? Where’s my Microsoft turd?” Roman said, reaching out to Logan. Logan slapped his hand away and glared at him like he was an grammar mistake in a fanfic. 

“There is no Logic anymore, only spicy.” Logan said, shoving more Hot Cheetos into his mouth. Roman looked hurt. 

“You need help, Logan. You can’t keep doing this!” Virgil ripped the bag of Cheetos out of Logan’s hands. Logan went to grab them but Patton stopped him by hugging him from behind. “I’ve seen you straight up take a bite out of a ghost pepper. No more spicy for you.” 

Logan started crying. Patton patted his head gently. “There, there, honey. You’ll feel better in a little bit.” 

They sat Logan down on the couch and gave him several glasses of milk. Logan eventually stopped crying and slowly returned to his normal self. Roman and Virgil would not let go of him the entire time. 

\-----

“You are never allowed near anything spicy again.” Virgil said, running his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan nodded, “Yes, I apologize for my outburst.” Roman lightly punched his shoulder and said, “It’s fine. I’m just glad it didn’t get too bad but I’ll never be able to get the image of you shoveling Cheetos into your mouth out of my head.” 

Logan sighed, “Let’s never speak of this again.” Roman and Virgil agreed. 

\-----

“Dude I have a huge headache.” Thomas groaned. “It feels like my brain is on fire.” Joan looked over to him, “Drink some water, man. Maybe you’re dehydrated.” Thomas complied, though moving made the headache feel worse. He didn’t feel any better. Maybe he hadn’t gotten enough sleep. 

_ A nap sounds nice right about now _ . 

Thomas then proceeded to pass out on the couch. 

**Author's Note:**

> H O T C H E E T O S


End file.
